“We find ourselves only by the practice of locating ourselves within community.”
In the last year and a half of being a Perkins Fellow, I have learned so much about life, faith, inequity, and biblical justice. I have read several books that have challenged my perceptions of the world and the Church’s role within it. My understanding of who I am and my place in this world as a follower of Jesus has been slowly developing. And yet, the friendships that I have developed in the last couple of years have proved to be perhaps the most soul-shaping aspect of my life.
White westerners love to think that we can create an identity for ourselves separate from entangling relationships with others, but this way of life causes us to miss out on the mysterious beauty of diverse and unified community. I strongly believe that God created us to live alongside one another not just so that we can be happier individually, but for His glory and the flourishing of this world. As Kurtz and Ketcham posit in the above quote, I have found that throughout my life, who I am has been profoundly shaped by who I live in close proximity with.
After three days of sitting and listening to leading ministry leaders, scholars, and activists at the Christian Community Development Association (CCDA) annual conference this fall, I came home full of inspiration, new perspectives, book recommendations, new questions, theoretical and theological wonderings. And yet, when people asked me the highlight of the weekend, I realized that the best answer was a new recognition and appreciation for the friendships with the people who I live side by side with.
Perkins Fellows at the annual Christian Community Development Association (CCDA) gathering.
After two and half years of friendship and two CCDA conferences with Ashley and Megnot, I have learned to cherish the conversations that we share more than almost anything. This year, there was one particular conversation about Chrsitian theology through indigenous perspectives that sparked a discussion that lasted deep into the night. Conversations with Ashley and Megnot are lovely because they are marked by eager listening, deep thoughtfulness, vulnerability, willingness to be wrong, “beautiful questions,” and a strong commitment to pursuing the truth and ways of Jesus (Geography of Grace, page 79).
Megnot and I also enjoy friendship with the Abundant Life (AL) kids, and our co-leaders, Ben and Katelin. I have gleaned many important lessons from these wonderful humans, two of which I will share with you. Firstly, relationships move at the pace of trust (slowly!). As we have spent about three hours a week with the AL kids for the last couple of years, we have slowly but surely grown in joy, vulnerability, and respect for one another. Secondly, community is best when it is intergenerational. Children have taught me over and over again the importance of joy and play in life rhythms. The following poem illustrates this child-mastered idea that worship must be, in part, an outpouring of delight.
Playing with kids at Abundant Life Ministries.
“We must risk delight…To make injustice the only measure of our attention is to praise the Devil… We must admit there will be music despite everything.”
All the Perkins Fellows, from those who I first met at our orientation in the fall to those who I know intimately, have shown me more and more about what friendship means. Frederick Buechner said, “I don’t think that it is always necessary to talk about the deepest and most private dimension of who we are, but I think we are called to talk to each other out of it, and just as importantly to listen to each other out of it, to live out of our depths as well as our shadows.” (Geography of Grace, page 196). Both with those who we talk about the depths of our souls and those who we don’t, in this year’s group of Perkins Fellows, I have seen these people really listen “out of their depths” to one another. I am reminded yet again that the good story of the gospel and the good road of justice requires companionship. I would like to invite you all to ponder with me: Specifically in your life, despite the inherent brokenness of human relationships, do you have friendships that challenge you to pursue the Lord with truth and humility? Is there anything more Jesus-like than depth-ful listening? And what would it look like if Christians everywhere were marked by this kind of listening-first type of friendship?