Into the Unknown | Sean Kim ‘28
This past year in Charlottesville has been many things: exhilarating to monotonous, moments of pride to periods of disappointment... I’ve been put through the gamut to say the least. At the risk of sounding grandiose, the primary sentiment left lingering in my soul is a profound sense of reverence for the incomprehensible – and my utter powerlessness in the face of it. The realization of my incompetence and the reckoning that has come with it have become the main lesson of my combined experiences this year and have changed how I approach any future endeavor, academic or otherwise.
The reframing of my heart-posture throughout this past semester in particular came about through a persistent stream of academic, physical, and psychological “failures”. It would start with a terrible grade on an exam, then it would lead to putting off my fitness and health as I prioritized focusing on classes, and then the subsequent implosion of confidence when I realized that I was unable to balance these two things. To top it all off, it seemed as though I was the only one of my peers to be doing so abysmally. It became a self-fulfilling cycle of disappointment, and it ate away at the foundations of my identity to the point where I was doing all I could just to stay in the same place while those around me continued to forge ahead.
It was through my service at the Ronald McDonald House (RMH), where I serve in my capacity as a Perkins Fellow and other student-led initiatives, that I began to mend my identity. What started off as what was admittedly just another one of my many obligations became the thread that I clung to as I progressed into the year. Through my interactions with families, many of whom were going through the deep, dark valley of having their little ones hospitalized, I began to truly learn the practice of faith. Usually, conversations would never broach the topic of religion or spirituality, but the way that these people continued to show up for themselves and their children, even when in the midst of such hardship, exemplified to me what I believe belief and faith would look like when given physical form.
“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.” – 1 Peter 5:6 NIV. Heavy on the humbling. This past semester especially, I’ve made a conscious effort to seek Him in areas of my life I previously declared complete dominion over. In deliberately giving up control over my worries and deepest concerns. In humbling myself in the face of the unknown and seeking God’s guidance. As this semester comes to an end, I’ll be reassessing how I approach the daily unknowns, with my community as a reference.